Stopping My Inner "Mean Mom."

This year has been one of focused, positive growth on me personally. The last 3 or so years have been good, but I continually felt unfulfilled, unnourished, even empty at times. I decided to kick off 2014 with a big mental shift, and this has led to lots of other personal changes as well.

The one I want to discuss today is stopping my inner “mean mom.” I think we all know what our inner “mean mom” is, but let me share what that looks like in our house. The constant busyness, the endless “hurry ups!”, the yelling, and probably the worst, the “I’m busy, leave me alone.” Just typing this makes me relive all those “mean mom” moments.

After looking inwardly, I realized that these times when I was being, well frankly, mean, usually happened in one of four situations. Anytime I was running late, naptime & bedtime, & of course, mealtimes. While there were other random times during the day where I would quickly lose my temper, I found that these four times were routinely times that I would completely loose my cool and would ultimately do something I regretted immediately.

So, I started to make small changes to each of these four routine situations. Things like getting up 10 minutes earlier so I could help my son brush his teeth and get his shoes on, rather than leaving 10 minutes late in a huff.

I also decided that while I desperately needed alone time during the day, my son might not need a nap every day. Thus, we instituted “quiet play time.” This is basically time for him to play quietly in his room, and not to come out until I come and get him. Most days, he still falls asleep, but it is no longer a constant battle to get him to lay down and stay in his room. He’s in there for the duration of “quiet play time” whether he sleeps or plays- it is his choice.

Mealtimes have always been especially hard for me, because I really don’t like cooking. I don’t have very good cooking skills to begin with, and the 4 o’clock witching hour with my kids can be gruesome at times! Add being HUNGRY into the mix, and it’s not good. But, I knew that this was a daily occurrence, so I decided to just make the best of it. I went to Pinterest, and found simple, healthy crock pot meals, which have really changed dinnertime in our house! Getting to the awful 4 o’clock hour and smelling dinner cooking rather than dreading having to cook it allows me extra play time with my boys and just the boost of energy I need to get through the rest of the day!  

The one thing that has helped the most during the difficult times of the day has been consistent, daily scripture study. Feeding my soul and bringing the spirit into my home is the one thing that can truly help me keep my “mean mom” at bay.

In the most recent General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Linda S. Reeves said, “It is OK if the house is a mess and the children are still in their pajamas and some responsibilities are left undone. The only things that really need to be accomplished in the home are daily scripture study and prayer and weekly family home evening.”

Stopping my inner mean mom has been really hard. Some days are great- other days my inner “mean mom” wins and I go to bed looking forward to a fresh start in the morning.  It is hard to make changes in our life. It’s easy to see where we want to be, while still having no idea how to get there, or even how to start. The scriptures bring that peace and reassurance we need from the Lord in order to do what may feel is completely impossible.

How do I know this? Tonight we are having slow cooker baked ziti, and 2 months ago I didn’t even know what “ziti” was.