Complimentary Opposites

Last week I was visiting my family in Provo, and my lovely younger sister who lives there invited me to attend a meeting she was hosting in her home with the mayor and many of the women in her neighborhood.  The topic she wanted to address was the role of women in city politics.  I was curious to see how the meeting would unfold, because my sister is pretty into the feminist movement, and quite vocal in her opinions.  The meeting had originally come about because she had seen a photo on the mayor's blog of a large breakfast gathering where there were ONLY white males in attendance.  She had expressed concern via email to the mayor that women and minorities did not appear to be adequately represented in city councils and events.  I was pleasantly surprised at how delightful the meeting turned out.  There was a great turnout, the questions were well thought out, and there was a general feeling of goodwill and mutual respect, and a desire to bring about positive changes without being overbearing.  I came away from the meeting feeling inspired and empowered as a woman.

For the past several months, as women and their roles have become a more prominent topic in the media and within church circles, I have pondered a lot about what truly empowers a woman, and the benefit and gift her God-given role as a mother offers to humankind.  While volumes could be written on this topic, I would just like to share a few of my thoughts.

First, what empowers a woman?  I think the most important thing is to truly recognize, deep down, that we are daughters of God, who wants the same blessings and gifts for each of His children, regardless of gender.  He has endowed us as women with unique gifts and talents, which can either be stifled and pushed aside (which our society seems to be trying to do), or it can be rejoiced in and embraced.  I still remember from college something one of my religion professors said.  This particular professor was fluent in Hebrew and had advanced degrees in the subject.  He had also been to the Holy Land many times.  He pointed out that the word "helpmeet" in the Genesis account of the creation was "Ezar Kinegdo" in the original Hebrew.  (Isn't it weird that I remember that?!)  Its literal translation is "complimentary opposite."  I remember our professor explaining that roles of men and women were much like the wings of a plane--they are definitely NOT the same, but both are necessary for complete functionality. Complimentary opposites.

Secondly, what do our unique roles as women as mothers and nurturers have to offer?  I had an epiphany on this some time ago, which was very enlightening to me as a mother. Think for a moment of all the major ills in our society; crime, contention, bullying, obesity, addictions, premarital sex and the resulting consequences of abortion, or single (teenage) parents, etc.  If all women everywhere embraced their roles as mothers and nurturers, all these devastating ills would be almost completely eradicated!  Think of it!  If that is not true power, I don't know what is!  Let me expound.  If all kids were to come home from school to a home with an engaged mother present, down would go the premarital sex.  Down would go our abortions.  Down would go our single teenage parent statistics.  If mothers embraced their role in the home, and made nurturing their primary concern, down would go obesity and attendant illnesses as more healthy food choices were provided, rather then the fast food/convenience store fare that is causing so much disease in our society.  As women gave their best effort in their capacity as a mother, down would go the violence that is so prevalent, as there would be less unsupervised t.v. and violent video games viewed, and more engaging and creative alternatives offered.  You get the idea.  Can you see why there is such an effort put forth by the adversary to demean and devalue the roles of women?  Can you see why he entices people with the argument that women should be the same as men?  Because he knows the astounding power that women can have!

 I deeply hope all of us as women can find ways to be actively engaged in our communities, in our churches, in our societies, in politics, and other things where our powerful and God-given roles will be recognized and utilized to bring about some amazing changes in our world.  Let us show our daughters and sons role models of powerful, good women who rejoice in being women!  We don't have to be "equal" to men--equality is not the issue here.  Let us rejoice in being "complimentary opposites!"

-Anna

The Value of Motherhood and Womanhood

We live in a time when the idea of motherhood is degraded. A lowly station, not worthy of praise or recognition. Not to be aspired to, devalued and overlooked. And yet the time, work, and effort required of mothers is without price. Who can measure a mother's worth? Who can measure the worth of a child? It is unfortunate that the insignificance of motherhood is perpetuated by men AND WOMEN alike. How can women downgrade their own eternal value and nobility?

We are often overlooked, under appreciated, undervalued, even sometimes in our own homes. We are probably all guilty of overlooking our own mother. We often don't recognize and notice everything a mother does. It is all behind the scenes.  But to be a mother, suddenly all the invisible efforts come out of the woodwork.

I am guilty of expecting praise and recognition only to be disappointed. We have to find our own value. We cannot look outside ourselves. We have to find it within ourselves, and in God. We have to be proud of our motherhood and stand for it. We can change the world one day at a time, one child at a time.  I learning this slowly.  It's hard to recognize your own value when others don't. It's hard to think you are doing a great work when your work includes piles of dirty laundry, when you wade through mess after mess, find it hard to get yourself ready for the day, and struggle with how to teach your children to whine just a little less. The tasks of motherhood are usually very mundane. We are more than our surroundings. Our work is more than the mundane daily tasks. We cannot expect others to value us if we do not value ourselves and the nobility of our work.

This past weekend I stood alongside the bed of a woman who had just given birth to a beautiful baby boy. The father had tears in his eyes, for his son was not expected to live longer than a few hours. His mother held him tightly, but smiled down at him. I expected to see grief and heartache. Although I am sure she felt an abundance of sadness, she was just so grateful to hold him for a few hours and listen to him breath, and consider the hope of raising him someday, to get a glimpse of the future. They had called many loved ones to come visit, family and friends, to come and see their son before he was to be called back home. This mother knew she was giving up her son now, but knew she was not losing him forever. He would be hers to hold again because motherhood is eternal. She has no idea, but she inspired me.

As President Monson said so well, "Who can probe a mother’s love? Who can comprehend in its entirety the lofty role of a mother? With perfect trust in God, she walks, her hand in his, into the valley of the shadow of death that you and I might come forth unto life...  The 'Mother forgotten' is observed all too frequently. ... May each of us treasure this truth; one cannot forget mother and remember God. One cannot remember mother and forget God. Why? Because these two sacred persons, God and mother, partners in creation, in love, in sacrifice, in service, are as one."

I am making a resolve to daily find my own value in motherhood and womanhood, to rely less on the praise of others, and to find fulfillment with God in my sacred calling.

-Laura Morris