Week 5 'We'll Ascend Together'

Yes, I know I am a few weeks late, we were traveling pretty much the whole month of  May and I got off routine. But no worries, I'm back!

If you are new here, you can see the first post here. Last time I posted, you can see it here

This past week month we studied Sister Burton's talk: We'll Ascend Together

As I am sure you have all heard, Our beloved Elder Perry passed away yesterday. So in honor of him, we will review his talk from this past conference: Why Marriage and Family Matter - Everywhere in the World, for our discussion next week.

Alright, so for Sister Burton's talk:

Sister Burton begins by telling us how our Prophets and Apostles have treated their spouse. How they are so kind and loving towards them. We need to be so grateful for our beloved ones. They are so dear to us.

Sister Burton's talk reminds us of the divine roll of Father, and Mothers. But focusing on Fathers, it is a great reminder of their rolls, and how wives, and mothers, and women can work in compatibility with them.

She quotes President Benson:

"Oh, husbands and fathers in Israel, you can do so much for the salvation and exaltation of your families! Remember your sacred calling as a father in Israel - your most important calling in time and eternity - a calling from which you will never be released. You must help create a home where the Spirit of the Lord can abide."

A very good reminder for all of us!

She talks about the false messages of fathers in the world. One false message is "It's all about me" and another wrong message is that husbands and fathers are not needed.  How wrong these are!  Good Fathers and Husbands are needed!

She then talks how Husbands and Wives, mothers and fathers, men and women need to complement each other, and not compete with each other. She quotes the proverb, "Thee lift me and I'll lift thee, and we'll ascend together."

She mentions the example of our hands. How they are similar to each other but not exactly the same. In fact, they are opposites, but they complement each other and are suited to each other. Working together they are stronger. This is true for us as men and women. We are not the exact same, but working together we are stronger.

Her next section is ' Let us oft speak kind words to each other'.  What a good reminder to always speak kindly to those around us, especially our spouse!  she asks, "How often do we intentionally speak kind words to each other?"

She brings up 5 questions we can ask ourselves to better evaluate this in ourselves. I would challenge you to seriously ponder these questions. If these questions make us feel a tinge of guilt, or make us squirm, that is the spirit warning us of danger and protection from additional damage. Let us work toward being better at speaking kind words to each other.

Here are the questions:
1. When was the last time I sincerely praised my companion, either alone or in the presence of our children?
2. When was the last time I thanked, expressed love for, or earnestly pleaded in faith for him or her in prayer?
3. When was the last time I stopped myself from saying something I knew could be hurtful?
4. When was the last time I apologized and humbly asked for forgiveness--without adding the words "but if only you had" or "but if only you hadn't"?
5. When was the last time I chose to be happy rather than demanding to be "right"?

Sister Burton asks us, "Will you join me in seeking the help of the Holy Ghost to teach us how we can better lift each other in our complementary roles as covenant sons and daughters of our loving heavenly parents?"

I challenge you to answer these questions, then seek the help of the Holy Ghost to better lift each other.

Have a great week, and don't forget to study Elder Perry's talk this week:
Why Marriage and Family Matter - Everywhere in the World

Ten Things I Love About Motherhood

These are in no particular order.  I guarantee that there's more than these ten.  This is just what came to my mind today.

1. Witnessing Life - I get a front row seat to watch little lives unfold before my eyes.  I get to watch my children experience things for the first time.  It's fascinating!

2. I get to watch my favorite shows and read my favorite books again and instill the love of these to my children.

3. I get to watch Joe in action as a father.  He's so wonderful and unselfish.  He knows how to handle situations in ways I never would have dreamed of.  I fall in love with him over and over again as he goes about being the best dad for our children.

4.  I get to have second chances.  There's the aspect of getting to relive my childhood through my children, but that's not what I initially thought of.  Instead I was thinking of all the mistakes I make as a mom.  My children forgive me so readily.  Over and over again they offer me a second chance to be a better mom to them.  This offering comes without hesitation.  I'm so thankful for their loving forgiveness toward me.  I hope they feel that I'm offering them the same opportunity,

5. Being a mother has offered me a special gift.  It has helped me to realize the things I used to take for granted like a full nights sleep without being interrupted.

6. Knowing that I have three best friends forever.  We may not always get along, but I know we are always there for each other.

7.  Hugs and Kisses and the newly acquired High Five that Jacob has recently adopted.  We need each other.  We love each other.  And even those of us who are entering the tween years love the affection that comes from this special bond that will last forever.

8.  Getting to tell them stories about my childhood.  Really my life as a child wasn't very fascinating at all.  But they love to listen and I love to share.  It works out perfectly.

9. Learning about things that interest them.  There are so many things that I have learned because they are interested in a certain topic or game.  My children keep me well rounded.

10.  There's never a dull moment.  I'm often tired, worn out and wondering if I'll ever get a chance to have some time all to myself - like go into the bathroom and complete my business in private. However, I know that someday when they've grown up and moved on, the house will be quiet and I will yearn for these busy, loud and jam-packed days.

Motherhood is what you make of it.  I hope I can look back and say that I've given it my heart and soul.  I'm far from perfect.  How grateful I am for this opportunity to learn and grow from my biggest blessings - my children.

-Angie Center

My Purpose

I was walking Tommy up and down the Las Vegas strip in his umbrella stroller. Hauling a diaper bag and a few M&M World gift bags, sporting a getting-biggish pregnant belly. We were determined to have some fun during Robert’s accounting conference. And despite the heat (100+!) and the smell (cigarettes and BO) and the loud music, we did manage to make friends with a dragon and try a lot of Hershey and M&M candy.
 
I was expecting the foul smells, the hot air, the almost-naked ladies posing for pictures with tourists, the big lights and fantastic buildings, alcohol and slot machines. What I wasn’t expecting was the amazing sense of purpose I felt for my life while visiting this strange city. While I wasn’t the ONLY one pushing around a stroller, I was close to the only one. And the sight of Thomas brought a smile
to every person’s face that we saw in an elevator, waiting in line, waiting at the crosswalk. And I mean a genuine, childlike, grin. We heard many stories of “ours are 18 and 20 now!” or “I remember those days,” or “If mine look like him I’ll have 10!” Here we were in the “city of fun,” and the most genuine smiles I saw were on the faces of those who looked at my child.

I looked at everyone around me in the city—there to have a good time—to go out to eat, to spend some time at the black jack tables or slot machines, see some (dirty!) shows, and have a few drinks. I looked at so many glamorous people living/working on the strip that were just looking for the next “good time.” I saw young men dressing up in superhero costumes and asking for tips from every picture or interaction, so obviously trying to find a way to make enough money to go have a good time. I looked at everyone having a good time in the city, and thought they all looked so...lost.

I have never felt so much purpose for my life than while walking that strip. I had no makeup on, looked kind of frumpy in my ill-fitting clothes, and had to constantly find a way to entertain Thomas whenever we had to wait in line. Instead of going to see a Broadway show or glamming up, or going shopping or doing something for myself, we went to look at the ducks; we spent LOTS of time looking at the dragon that growled; I spent an hour catching Tommy as he jumped into the pool. Boy, we really stuck out (especially Tommy’s high-pitched, enthusiastic little voice). And I have never been gladder. I have a Purpose in my life—and it is a real, and powerful Purpose. Although there are many other purposes in my life, my children and role as a mother is the most important and overarching I could imagine. My purpose is so much more than to have a “good time.” Working hard and making a sacrifice for something that really matters is what real fun is. My purpose is to teach my children what real fun is, and that they have a Purpose so that they don’t have to be always
looking for the next “good time” Las Vegas style.

In Las Vegas, my Purpose shone brighter than I ever noticed it before. I think it may have been the first time that it really struck me what an absolute blessing dedicating life to family can be. Maybe because it was against a backdrop of so many who seemed without Purpose. Against a city thriving on the lost.

I felt strong and confident walking down the Strip with my stroller and frumpy clothes and Divine Purpose.

...And we’ve decided we’ve seen enough of Vegas to last a lifetime! 

-Carson

Complimentary Opposites

Last week I was visiting my family in Provo, and my lovely younger sister who lives there invited me to attend a meeting she was hosting in her home with the mayor and many of the women in her neighborhood.  The topic she wanted to address was the role of women in city politics.  I was curious to see how the meeting would unfold, because my sister is pretty into the feminist movement, and quite vocal in her opinions.  The meeting had originally come about because she had seen a photo on the mayor's blog of a large breakfast gathering where there were ONLY white males in attendance.  She had expressed concern via email to the mayor that women and minorities did not appear to be adequately represented in city councils and events.  I was pleasantly surprised at how delightful the meeting turned out.  There was a great turnout, the questions were well thought out, and there was a general feeling of goodwill and mutual respect, and a desire to bring about positive changes without being overbearing.  I came away from the meeting feeling inspired and empowered as a woman.

For the past several months, as women and their roles have become a more prominent topic in the media and within church circles, I have pondered a lot about what truly empowers a woman, and the benefit and gift her God-given role as a mother offers to humankind.  While volumes could be written on this topic, I would just like to share a few of my thoughts.

First, what empowers a woman?  I think the most important thing is to truly recognize, deep down, that we are daughters of God, who wants the same blessings and gifts for each of His children, regardless of gender.  He has endowed us as women with unique gifts and talents, which can either be stifled and pushed aside (which our society seems to be trying to do), or it can be rejoiced in and embraced.  I still remember from college something one of my religion professors said.  This particular professor was fluent in Hebrew and had advanced degrees in the subject.  He had also been to the Holy Land many times.  He pointed out that the word "helpmeet" in the Genesis account of the creation was "Ezar Kinegdo" in the original Hebrew.  (Isn't it weird that I remember that?!)  Its literal translation is "complimentary opposite."  I remember our professor explaining that roles of men and women were much like the wings of a plane--they are definitely NOT the same, but both are necessary for complete functionality. Complimentary opposites.

Secondly, what do our unique roles as women as mothers and nurturers have to offer?  I had an epiphany on this some time ago, which was very enlightening to me as a mother. Think for a moment of all the major ills in our society; crime, contention, bullying, obesity, addictions, premarital sex and the resulting consequences of abortion, or single (teenage) parents, etc.  If all women everywhere embraced their roles as mothers and nurturers, all these devastating ills would be almost completely eradicated!  Think of it!  If that is not true power, I don't know what is!  Let me expound.  If all kids were to come home from school to a home with an engaged mother present, down would go the premarital sex.  Down would go our abortions.  Down would go our single teenage parent statistics.  If mothers embraced their role in the home, and made nurturing their primary concern, down would go obesity and attendant illnesses as more healthy food choices were provided, rather then the fast food/convenience store fare that is causing so much disease in our society.  As women gave their best effort in their capacity as a mother, down would go the violence that is so prevalent, as there would be less unsupervised t.v. and violent video games viewed, and more engaging and creative alternatives offered.  You get the idea.  Can you see why there is such an effort put forth by the adversary to demean and devalue the roles of women?  Can you see why he entices people with the argument that women should be the same as men?  Because he knows the astounding power that women can have!

 I deeply hope all of us as women can find ways to be actively engaged in our communities, in our churches, in our societies, in politics, and other things where our powerful and God-given roles will be recognized and utilized to bring about some amazing changes in our world.  Let us show our daughters and sons role models of powerful, good women who rejoice in being women!  We don't have to be "equal" to men--equality is not the issue here.  Let us rejoice in being "complimentary opposites!"

-Anna

The Value of Motherhood and Womanhood

We live in a time when the idea of motherhood is degraded. A lowly station, not worthy of praise or recognition. Not to be aspired to, devalued and overlooked. And yet the time, work, and effort required of mothers is without price. Who can measure a mother's worth? Who can measure the worth of a child? It is unfortunate that the insignificance of motherhood is perpetuated by men AND WOMEN alike. How can women downgrade their own eternal value and nobility?

We are often overlooked, under appreciated, undervalued, even sometimes in our own homes. We are probably all guilty of overlooking our own mother. We often don't recognize and notice everything a mother does. It is all behind the scenes.  But to be a mother, suddenly all the invisible efforts come out of the woodwork.

I am guilty of expecting praise and recognition only to be disappointed. We have to find our own value. We cannot look outside ourselves. We have to find it within ourselves, and in God. We have to be proud of our motherhood and stand for it. We can change the world one day at a time, one child at a time.  I learning this slowly.  It's hard to recognize your own value when others don't. It's hard to think you are doing a great work when your work includes piles of dirty laundry, when you wade through mess after mess, find it hard to get yourself ready for the day, and struggle with how to teach your children to whine just a little less. The tasks of motherhood are usually very mundane. We are more than our surroundings. Our work is more than the mundane daily tasks. We cannot expect others to value us if we do not value ourselves and the nobility of our work.

This past weekend I stood alongside the bed of a woman who had just given birth to a beautiful baby boy. The father had tears in his eyes, for his son was not expected to live longer than a few hours. His mother held him tightly, but smiled down at him. I expected to see grief and heartache. Although I am sure she felt an abundance of sadness, she was just so grateful to hold him for a few hours and listen to him breath, and consider the hope of raising him someday, to get a glimpse of the future. They had called many loved ones to come visit, family and friends, to come and see their son before he was to be called back home. This mother knew she was giving up her son now, but knew she was not losing him forever. He would be hers to hold again because motherhood is eternal. She has no idea, but she inspired me.

As President Monson said so well, "Who can probe a mother’s love? Who can comprehend in its entirety the lofty role of a mother? With perfect trust in God, she walks, her hand in his, into the valley of the shadow of death that you and I might come forth unto life...  The 'Mother forgotten' is observed all too frequently. ... May each of us treasure this truth; one cannot forget mother and remember God. One cannot remember mother and forget God. Why? Because these two sacred persons, God and mother, partners in creation, in love, in sacrifice, in service, are as one."

I am making a resolve to daily find my own value in motherhood and womanhood, to rely less on the praise of others, and to find fulfillment with God in my sacred calling.

-Laura Morris

Mothers

Happy Mother's Day 2014!

To commemorate the wonderful women in our lives, I'd like to post a quote that I feel expresses the sentiment perfectly.  This is from a talk given at the BYU Women's conference in 2010 by Dallin H. Oaks.

"The greatest example of service, because it is so unselfish and so expressive of the will of God, is the action of a mother for her children.  In her story, 'The Invisible Woman,' Nicole Johnson likens the mother's role to that those builders made great sacrifices to build a cathedral 'they would never see finished.' Though their individual efforts were 'invisible' to the world, their actions were 'fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.' She likened this to a mother's essentially invisible work with her children.  She wrote that her own invisibility sometimes felt like an 'affliction,' but she wisely observed that this was the 'cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness.' Nicole Johnson concluded: 'As mothers, we are building great cathedrals.  We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, [but] at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women."