Stake Goals

     This year our stake goals are focused on ways to be. Let me explain;  In the past 4 years that we’ve been a part of our stake the goals have usually been about going to the temple, doing genealogy work, and paying tithing or fast offerings. All of which are righteous worthy goals. However, this year our Stake President was inspired to set goals that are more focused on looking and working inward. This year’s 4 goals are:

 1. Truly forgive one another

2. Cast out unrighteous thoughts 

3. Love and care about another person more than yourself  

4. Obey the commandments exactly for one year

     This past weekend was our stake conference. We were able to hear from our stake leaders and receive their counsel and guidance concerning our stake goals. I would like to share some of that counsel and guidance. 

   Forgiveness is a requirement in the Lord’s kingdom.  Yes, we all feel hurt or disappointed at times and yet in order to heal and move on we have to forgive others whether there was an acknowledgement of our feelings or not. We also need to remember that we cause pain to others and need to be forgiven for our sins and mistakes. So a forgiving heart will in turn receive forgiveness.  

    Because of our fallen state and none of us are perfect, we all have unrighteous thoughts from time to time. So the goal isn’t to not have unrighteous thoughts, it’s to cast them out immediately and not allow them to stay in our mind or dwell upon them. We have been taught about how to handle unrighteous thoughts-depending on what they are…we can sing a church hymn, say a prayer, leave a situation, recite a scripture, etc…but the important thing is take righteous action against the bad thought. 

   Generally speaking, I feel that mother’s do a good job on #3. Rearing and nurturing children requires many sacrifices on our part. We sacrifice our time, put ambitions or goals on hold, literally take care of someone else before we meet our needs (eating, showering, etc…) We do this because we see that our children require some priority shifting on our part. But what about that person or those people that seem to know just how to drive us crazy, push our buttons, or make us angry at the snap of a finger? It’s harder to extend love, compassion, patience, and forgiveness to those that we feel hurt or disappointed in. But to truly love and care for someone else more than our self gives us the opportunity to become a “good Samaritan.”  To embrace someone who we wouldn’t necessarily spend time, means, energy, or as much effort on truly helps us become more like Jesus Christ.  Of course this one requires a lot of prayer as you seek guidance on how best to follow this counsel, but it is an opportunity for tremendous personal growth. 

   Our Stake President spoke specifically on #4-keeping the commandments exactly for one year. Can we even name all 10 commandments? In order to keep them exactly we need to know what they are ☺ I appreciated my stake president’s talk. He explained that “exactly” does not mean, not allowed to make a mistake. There are commandments that we can be perfect in fairly easily as a faithful Latter-Day Saint. We can pay a full tithe, not commit adultery, don’t steal, not take the Lord’s name in vain. But there are times that we may fall short in keeping them or others exactly. To this he explained, that we keep trying. If we fall short or make a mistake, we don’t give up. Sometimes we quit something because we don’t think we can live up to the expectation. Rather we acknowledge the mistake, repent and pick up where we left off. The Lord understands where we’re at and just wants us to keep trying. Our president gave the analogy of becoming a good archer. The first few times you pick up a bow and arrow you will most likely not even come close to the bulls-eye. But you just keep aiming and shooting, and soon you will hit the target. So we need to do a personal inventory on where we’re at with the commandments. To those we follow naturally and more easily, great, keep going. On those that we don’t hit the bulls-eye every time, keep trying, harder, and consistently and we’ll get there. 

  As I have personally been working on these goals for almost 6 months I have had some interesting experiences because that’s how life is. When we’re trying to be obedient we’re usually given a challenge directly related that principle ☺ I’ll share one example. It’s not anything huge, but it turned out to be a family matter. One weekend a couple months ago, we had spent a Saturday celebrating my son’s 5^th birthday as a family and were going from place to place. On our way back home that evening I didn’t bother paying attention to the gas gauge- my gas light hadn’t come on and we live close to church. I also wasn’t thinking ahead to anything that had been scheduled/planned for Sunday. Well Sunday morning came and I realized that we had a very busy Sunday! We had a very special baptism to attend in another ward that was a good 25 minute drive each way and then that evening was a ward farewell get together for a family that was moving. Later as we were driving to the baptism I looked at the gas and realized that we were pretty low. I explained to the kids that if the gas light came on we would only have enough gas to get to the baptism and back home. That most likely meant no farewell party later on. My children offered prayers and kept their fingers crossed, but sure enough the gas light came on as we were driving. After the baptism we made it back home with no problems, but our gas was very low and there was no way we could make the drive out to the farewell without running out of gas. The kids were all very disappointed (I was too!) especially because the family moving were good personal friends of ours. So we had a family council about what would be the best decision. Do we go and get gas to attend the fare well and rationalize my unpreparedness or keep the Sabbath Day holy? I apologized to my family as I felt I was the one who was irresponsible. It was difficult for my children to accept that we weren’t going to the farewell, but they agreed that we shouldn’t go buy gas. We ended up staying home that night and spending it as a family. I felt really bad, and yet no one was mad at me. I’m so thankful for my children’s understanding and forgiving hearts and being willing to keep the commandments. We also had a playdate later that week with the family before they left!  From this experience I learned how important it is to be prepared for the Sabbath and that also means having gas in the car. Fortunately it was only a get together we missed out on, I would have felt much worse had someone been seriously ill or in need and I couldn’t have just jumped in my van and gotten there! 

    I’m grateful for these inspired stake goals that have given me the opportunity to do some work in my heart and hopefully allowing me to become more Christlike. I realize that you are not in the same stake as me, but I feel that goals are applicable to any disciple of Christ.  

Bodies

I’ve been hearing a lot about people who have injuries or sicknesses lately, and it got me thinking. Most people go through life with some sort of weak system; it could be a less than perfect intestinal tract, a weak immune system, a bad wrist, an imbalance of hormones, or a knee that never recovered from an accident. Some are more severe than others. Regardless of what it is, we are all battling something.  But that is what makes us humans. We were sent here to be tested and things will be hard.

Think of what a glorious day it will be when our bodies are made perfect and we no longer have these weaknesses. Have you ever injured something and had to go easy on it for a week, or a day, or a month? We don”t realize how much we use every part of our body on a regular basis, until we cant use a part of it. Think about your thumb. Minor part of your body, right? But if you had to go a day without using your thumb, you would value it so much more! Think of driving your car, or picking up a toddler, or writing a grocery list, or texting, or chopping a vegetable. Thank goodness for thumbs.

Our Heavenly Father designed our bodies to work together as a whole - to function together so that we could fulfill our life missions successfully. Sometimes our bodies struggle, but one day, they will be made perfect. What a merciful gift from God. I am grateful for the imperfect body God gave me and for the way it carries me as I try to be a better disciple of Jesus Christ.

--Jashley

A Soft Answer

I've had laryngitis since Saturday. I haven't been able to raise my voice above a whisper; finally today my voice is sort of coming back, but my neighbor said I sound like a grouchy man so I'm back to whisper for now:).

But it's taught me a lot. Things have gone so smoothly! And that's not to say my 2-year-old hasn't thrown tantrums about the same things he throws tantrums about everyday, that my 4-year-old hasn't stopped talking back, or that my 8-month-old doesn't scream between every bite since we just can't feed him fast enough. Pretty much nothing has changed except me, and that's made all the difference. I can't grouch right back at my kids when they're cranky, or yell to tell them to hurry and get their shoes and get in the car. Less than 4 days ago I'd yell because I'd start quiet and they wouldn't hear me and then I'd get louder and louder and louder and say the same thing again and again - and usually my kids still weren't listening til they finally turned around and saw that I was mad at them. Doesn't seem quite fair to anyone does it?

Without a voice, I've taken an extra second or two to consider my response, and I have seen that truly "A soft answer turneth away wrath" (Proverbs 15:1).

My Purpose

I was walking Tommy up and down the Las Vegas strip in his umbrella stroller. Hauling a diaper bag and a few M&M World gift bags, sporting a getting-biggish pregnant belly. We were determined to have some fun during Robert’s accounting conference. And despite the heat (100+!) and the smell (cigarettes and BO) and the loud music, we did manage to make friends with a dragon and try a lot of Hershey and M&M candy.
 
I was expecting the foul smells, the hot air, the almost-naked ladies posing for pictures with tourists, the big lights and fantastic buildings, alcohol and slot machines. What I wasn’t expecting was the amazing sense of purpose I felt for my life while visiting this strange city. While I wasn’t the ONLY one pushing around a stroller, I was close to the only one. And the sight of Thomas brought a smile
to every person’s face that we saw in an elevator, waiting in line, waiting at the crosswalk. And I mean a genuine, childlike, grin. We heard many stories of “ours are 18 and 20 now!” or “I remember those days,” or “If mine look like him I’ll have 10!” Here we were in the “city of fun,” and the most genuine smiles I saw were on the faces of those who looked at my child.

I looked at everyone around me in the city—there to have a good time—to go out to eat, to spend some time at the black jack tables or slot machines, see some (dirty!) shows, and have a few drinks. I looked at so many glamorous people living/working on the strip that were just looking for the next “good time.” I saw young men dressing up in superhero costumes and asking for tips from every picture or interaction, so obviously trying to find a way to make enough money to go have a good time. I looked at everyone having a good time in the city, and thought they all looked so...lost.

I have never felt so much purpose for my life than while walking that strip. I had no makeup on, looked kind of frumpy in my ill-fitting clothes, and had to constantly find a way to entertain Thomas whenever we had to wait in line. Instead of going to see a Broadway show or glamming up, or going shopping or doing something for myself, we went to look at the ducks; we spent LOTS of time looking at the dragon that growled; I spent an hour catching Tommy as he jumped into the pool. Boy, we really stuck out (especially Tommy’s high-pitched, enthusiastic little voice). And I have never been gladder. I have a Purpose in my life—and it is a real, and powerful Purpose. Although there are many other purposes in my life, my children and role as a mother is the most important and overarching I could imagine. My purpose is so much more than to have a “good time.” Working hard and making a sacrifice for something that really matters is what real fun is. My purpose is to teach my children what real fun is, and that they have a Purpose so that they don’t have to be always
looking for the next “good time” Las Vegas style.

In Las Vegas, my Purpose shone brighter than I ever noticed it before. I think it may have been the first time that it really struck me what an absolute blessing dedicating life to family can be. Maybe because it was against a backdrop of so many who seemed without Purpose. Against a city thriving on the lost.

I felt strong and confident walking down the Strip with my stroller and frumpy clothes and Divine Purpose.

...And we’ve decided we’ve seen enough of Vegas to last a lifetime! 

-Carson

Being realistic with expectations

This week I attended a seminar about LDS woman and depression. The speaker, Kris Doty a professor at UVU who specializes in woman and depression, spoke about something that she called “toxic perfectionism” and it really struck a chord with me. There is an inherent conflict in doctrinal idea of “Be ye perfect” and the social culture that pervades the church that we never can be. Doctrinally to be “perfect” is to be complete or whole. This is not achieved in our lifetime. The Savior only put himself on the same level of perfection with Heavenly Father AFTER he had been resurrected (3rd Nephi 12:48). If the Savior in his mortal life was never considered “perfect” why do we think that we can be? This idea that we have of the “perfect” Mormon woman is someone who:  reads her scriptures daily, cooks a Gourmont meal every day, sews her kids clothes, exercises daily, always looks good for her spouse, does her visiting teaching on the first of every month, bakes fresh bread, does school projects, works on the side, cuts her kids hair, gardens and keeps an immaculate house. The list could go on and on but one of the points that Prof. Doty brought up is that this woman does not exist!! And this is not a bad thing! The gospel plan is often referred to as the “Plan of Happiness” and the gospel does bring a great peace and joy into our lives, this does NOT mean however that if we go through periods of unhappiness or depression that we are somehow not living the gospel to its fullest. If we place upon ourselves the pressures of perfection we will find that we cannot maintain that pace for long without sacrificing our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. Enduring to the end will be much easier if we can realistically set boundaries for ourselves concerning what we can do. This gospel makes me happy but sometimes I am sad and that is okay.

Kristin

Join the #BoldChristian Challenge

A friend of mine, Katelyn Fagan of What's Up Fagans, recently created the #BoldChristian challenge. She is encouraging Christians to participate in daily uplifting challenges, and then to share their experience on social media.

As she outlines on her blog:

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When will it start?

The challenge will begin on Monday, October 6, 2014 and run until Monday, October 20, 2014. Each day you will receive an email the night before the next day’s challenges. Each email will include the day’s “theme” and what challenge(s) go along with it. There will be applicable scriptures (from the KJV), and some ideas on how to meet the day’s challenge. I am doing my best to make them open-ended and easy to adapt to whatever your life situation may be.

Examples of Challenges:

• Ask for prayer requests and share about your testimony of prayer as you do so.
• Carry your scriptures with you all day, and read for one minute every time you sit down.
• Share your testimony and conversion stories.
• Invite others to read the Bible, go to church, or pray.
• Defend God’s name.
• Pray over your meals in public.
• Share about your favorite scripture or scripture stories
• And more!

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When I read about this #BoldChristian challenge, I immediately thought of several recent talks from General Authorities. Elder Bednar recently admonished that members of the church, "...sweep the Earth as with a flood" with uplifting, Christ-centered messages. 

I know that social media at times can be overwhelming, time-consuming, and draining even, but I also know that modern technology was created for God's purposes. He gave us the technology that we have in order to further advance the work of salvation throughout the world.

I too challenge you to join the #BoldChristian challenge HERE. I'm guessing it might put you outside of your comfort zone, might be annoying to or completely overlooked by friends, but just the thought of social media being flooded with testimonies of Christ feels so right to me. 

That's why this blog was created in the first place. 

To close in the words of Elder Bednar: "My beloved brothers and sisters, what has been accomplished thus far in this dispensation communicating gospel messages through social media channels is a good beginning—but only a small trickle. I now extend to you the invitation to help transform the trickle into a flood. Beginning at this place on this day, I exhort you to sweep the earth with messages filled with righteousness and truth—messages that are authentic, edifying, and praiseworthy—and literally to sweep the earth as with a flood."

Let your light so shine.

I've been thinking about this scripture recently:

Picture from eofdreams.com

"Ye are the light of the world.  A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid.

"Neither do men light a candle and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick.  And it giveth light unto all that are in the house.

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven."

The scriptures teach us that light comes from the presence of God (D&C 88:12), that light gives life to all things (D&C 88:13), and that Christ is the light of the world (John 8:12).  I think it is interesting that although light is often referred to when talking about Christ, here Christ is saying that we are the light.  I think it follows that the more and more we become like Christ, the more of Christ's light we possess.

Ye are the light of the world.  "Hold up your light that it may shine unto the world.  Behold, I am the light which ye shall hold up––that which ye have seen me do" (3 Nephi 18:24).  As the light of the world, we are to follow the teachings and examples of the Savior.  We are to act as He would, were He here.  We are to say what He would say, were He here.

A candle gives light to all.  It is no respecter of persons.  The light is given liberally to all, and cannot choose who to shed its light on and who to it withholds light from.

That being said, I think we should point out that we are not called to be flame throwers.  We are not to be forceful with our testimony, cannot force others to feel the spirit, and cannot force others to choose the right.  We are called to be candles.  We are small, we are quiet, and at times, our example is not noticed.  But when the thicker darkness comes, we will still be there, shining the light of Christ to warm those nearby.

Our responsibility as a candle is to shine.  It is to give.  It is to love.  It is not to hide, nor to be frustrated.  Our responsibility is not to judge.  A candle burns quietly, consistently.  A candle does not cower when laughed at.  Instead, a candle will still burn and give light to the mocker.

--Is this not following the example of Christ?  Did not Christ visit the sick and the afflicted?  Did not Christ dine with the sinners?  Did He not quietly and beautifully forgive those who had crucified him?

Christ's light never faltered. 

There are times of trial in life.  There are times of disappointment, discouragement, and darkness.  There are times of hopelessness, and they come to everybody.  In times like these it may seem that the darkness is too overwhelming; that it is too much for us to let our light shine.  In times like these we must turn to Christ to help restore our light.

There will be challenges and struggles, but there will also be times of peace, love, serenity, and deep assurance that all will be well.  We can remember that the light is stronger than the darkness.  That Christ's light will never falter.

We can let our light so shine.  We can hold fast to the iron rode.  We can turn our head and find a neighbor to bring with us to church.  We can express love to those we meet.  Because we know who we are and we know who's light we are shining.  And we can have confidence in that.

"That which is of God is light, and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day" (Doctrine & Covenants 50:24).

Add to Your Faith Virtue and to Your Virtue Knowledge, by Walter Rane.