Families

Today, I would just like to testify of the importance of families. One of the main reasons we are here on this earth is to get married and have children and teach them the ways of our Heavenly Father. I have wonderful parents who did that. I was raised by a mother who was virtuous and taught me to be proud I am a woman. I was raised by a father who demonstrated righteous dominion in our home. He displayed characteristics that I wanted in a future spouse and taught me to value the priesthood. 

I grew up and got married and I married a wonderful priesthood holder who takes care of us and helps us all be better. I try my best to be a virtuous woman, like my mother. I want my children to grow up and be glad that they had righteous parents. I recognize that not everyone has that, and it breaks my heart. But whatever your background is, I challenge you to improve on it. Make your home better than the one you grew up in. Satan knows how crucial the family is and we have to be ever stronger than previous generations to keep him out of our homes. With the lack of structure in families that exist in our society, we can see that our society is headed down a dangerous path. 

People have commented to my husband and I about not wanting children. They say that they are too much work and it isn't worth it. But to those who choose not to have a family, I say "It is worth it!" There are hard days but it is worth every long night, every snotty nose, and every tantrum to see your children choose righteous paths and learn the things that you try so desperately to put in their heads. Children are a blessing from God. Families are central to His plan. I challenge everyone to create a stronger family shield against the Evil One and put in more effort to teach your children righteous ways. 

---Jashley

"Free Yourself From Unrealistic Expectations of Perfection"

Today I saw, "Free Yourself From Unrealistic Expectations of Perfection" on the LDS.org website and I immediately clicked the link. What followed was a beautiful talk reminding me about the all encompassing power of the Savior's Atonement. Below is a short excerpt:

"The Savior’s freely given atoning love helps us become more forgiving and less judgmental of others and of ourselves. This love heals our relationships and gives us opportunities to love, understand, and serve as our Savior would.

His atoning love changes our concept of perfection. We can put our trust in Him, diligently keep His commandments, and continue in the faith (seeMosiah 4:6)—even as we also feel greater humility, gratitude, and dependence on His merits, mercy, and grace (see 2 Nephi 2:8)."

Most times, my concept of perfection is completely skewed. An immaculate home, beautifully dressed children, a roast on the dinner table at exactly 5:30 when my husband arrives home, and of course my homemade apple pie for dessert (which I made 2 of to give one away, of course). While I'm typing this I realize how completely ridiculous this is, but apparently deep down, that is what I expect of myself- even if I don't neccesarily want that (I hate apple pie!)

But when I truly focus on the Savior, on what He wants for me, and on what He expects of me, I realize that perfectionism (at least my idea/the worlds perspective) is a tool of Satan. He wants us to get overwhelmed, unmotivated, depressed, & anxious over our weaknesses, to the point that we want to give up. That is not how the Savior works.

His infinite love surpasses anything we can comprehend, and as our Advocate with the Father, is fighting for our success. He loves us. He will always love us. And all He wants for us is to wake up each day, with a renewed hope that we will be better than yesterday.  

Hope

Next week my little family is moving to Ohio. The closest person I know will live over 500 miles away. I have never been farther than 30 minutes from family for longer than weeks.  Needless to say, I am terrified. I try to have a smile and be excited about this 'adventure'.  I try to be positive and optimistic. But the truth is, I am terrified. I don't want to go.  I want to stay in close reach of my family, my comfort.  I know this is a good path for us to take, but all the uncertainties keep creeping up in my mind.  The negative and unsure thoughts keep overpowering the good thoughts. I can only think of how hard life will be, how I hate packing, and how I can't do this.

But I'm wrong.

I can do this.

In quiet contemplation, I get a burst of hope. A chance to see the light, that not all is wrong. Not all will fail and be miserable. I see that there will be a chance to start a new, to hope for our future and to strive for our goals.

Don't give up. Don't give up to the despair that can so easily find a place in our hearts. Don't give step to the negative thoughts.  Fight for the hope of the future. That things can and will get better.

This video helps me to remember to always have HOPE.  Enjoy.

-Cherstin

Stand Ye In Holy Places

We talked about standing in holy places at church today. While the discussion was taking place, I imagined having a spot in my home called the "Holy Place." Just a little reading nook surrounded by a cone of silence. You know, nothing major. And, if it's not too much to ask, a button that summons Rosie the robot who will clean my house and feed my children until I'm feeling a little more "holy."

The more I think about it, the more I like this idea of having a space to retreat and regroup. I think a secluded spot to gather myself together again would be great, but where? Let's see…the bathroom? "Mommy! Are you in there? Can you see my fingers?"Maybe not. Oh, I know! My room! I can just lock the door..."Mommy! (banging on door) Mommy, the door's locked! (rattles handle) I can't open it! Mommy, open the door!" I may need to add some headphones into this equation. My kids can sense a closed door from across the house. For some reason, this really disturbs their little world. They freak out like I've hitched a ride to Australia. Hmmm...Australia. No...no, not practical.

Joking aside, my home is supposed to be a refuge from the storms of the world, not just for me, but for my family and those we invite within its walls. So, what does a holy place look like? I imagine it to be a safe place, a spiritual refuge. A place where the Spirit can teach, where words are kind and love is felt. It is a place of repentance and forgiveness. Anyone who has been inside an LDS temple knows what it feels like to be in a holy place. This is the pattern I want to use in my home. The temple is also always clean and quiet, but there are no graham crackers, Legos or little voices that know only one volume. I don't think the Lord will mind if I file "spotless" and "quiet" under "unattainable" right now, but that doesn't mean that a spiritual refuge is out of my grasp. Sometimes, holy places are covered in grape jelly and filled with very loud, high-pitched voices.

Making my home a holy place starts with me. I am the heart of my home. You know the saying, "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobodyhappy"? Well, I believe it goes the other way too. I have a strong influence over the tone and mood of our home. It's a big responsibility, and sometimes I feel overwhelmed by it. My inner toddler has been known to throw an "it's not fair" fit over it (usually an Oreo and a nap quiets her down). But, that’s just the way it is. If I want my home to be a holy place, I need to scheduletime to feed my spirit through prayer, scripture study and meditation (6am anyone?). It means I need to check my spiritual meter during the day, and recharge when I'm running low. Maybe that means locking my bedroom door and clearing a spot in my closet. I can't and I'm not expected to do it alone. The Lord is invited into holy places. In fact, holy places are centered on Christ. Through the Spirit, He is there to guide, teach, listen, and heal.

Making my home a holy place means that I forgive myself like I forgive others. That's an important one for me. I'm not perfect. Not even close. I married someone just as imperfect, and we passed it on to our children. That's okay, because holy places aren't filled with perfect people. They are filled with people who love each other and are willing to repent and forgive. Holy places have people who repeatedly fail but keep working, because holy places are places of learning. In holy places, we study and pray together, we serve each other, and we lift each other up.

I want my home to be a holy place, so my family can have the experiences we need to fortify ourselves against the bombardment of the world. I imagine us taking that little piece of heaven with us as we interact with friends and neighbors, sharing light and love wherever we go. I hope we can spread peace and joy in our daily travels, and when the storms come, we can find refuge in our holy places.

--Holly

Worth it?

I want to tell you a story of a time when I was extreme foolish. This experience has had a profound impact on my life. I was five. I was the owner of a beautiful metal box that had a built-in combination. My dad gave it to me. It was the greatest thing. I kept all of my prized possessions in there (my stick-on earrings, gel pens, and my hello-kitty eraser). Well, one Sunday, my older sister, Kate, had a huge bag of skittles in Sacrament meeting. She would not share and it wasn’t even the regular size, it was the party-size. I tried and tried to convince her to share, but she would not. In a final desperate attempt, I offered her my beautiful box if she would share with me. She gave me SIX SKITTLES for my box. Six. I agreed to accept six skittles in exchange for my box. Eating my skittles, I was (mostly) happy at the time, but I very quickly regretted my decision. It was a straight-up Jacob and Esau situation. And I was Esau. I still can’t hear about that story without cringing and thinking back to that trade I made. I sold myself short. I lost sight of what was more important to me.

I often think of this in relation to things on a grander scale. Many things can be substituted for the box and many for the skittles. While I know we do give up things that are important for things we want now, I think that more often instead of actively giving things up, we get distracted. The box is eternal life and the skittles are Satan’s distractions. Satan is the master of distraction. We get distracted easily by things that don’t matter instead of focusing on the eternal. How many times do we give the internet or Netflix most of our time? How long do we hold on to grudges or are quick to take offense? Perfectionism, jealousy, comparison, and seeking worldly success are all distractions from what’s most important. Through these distractions, we are selling ourselves short of our divine potential. Just as a bowl of pottage wasn’t worth Esau’s inheritance and six skittles not worth the box, neither are Satan’s distractions worth our eternal salvation. Never make that trade.

--Camille

Family History

This past Sunday I was asked to speak in church about family history. And honestly, my first thought was, 'really? what do I say?... Go... do family history!  yay!'

Luckily I was told to base it off of Elder Cook's most recent conference talk, 'Roots and Branches'. It is a wonderful talk and I would encourage anyone interested in Family History to read it. What a great message it has. It is so important to find our family members!

So, here is a little story from my talk, which emphasizes why we need to do our family history work.

"You know, we can all do family history in some degree or another. My family just had a big reunion in June and while there, my brother told us a story about his 10 year old daughter.  He said that it was a Saturday morning.  At 7 in the morning. He told us he was laying in bed, enjoying his only day to ‘sleep in’.  Well, it didn’t last long.  He heard a soft knock on the door, and in came his oldest.  She had in her hands a paper, and said the simple words, ‘Hi, daddy, I found a family name for you and mom to take to the temple’.   What?!  I was astounded when I heard this. Not only was she awake and dressed at 7 in the morning, which, lets face it, is quite the feat in and of itself. … but she had been awake since 6:30 and what did she choose to do?  Play with her sister?  No… Annoy her brothers? Nope…. Wake up the baby? Uh uh… She choose to quietly get on the computer, and no, not play games, but search for her family. To find a family member who had not had all their temple work completed for them."

Well, I just love my family!

Obedience

I have been thinking about scriptural accounts of people following the counsel of the Lord and their leaders. It has got me thinking how things work out for the people that are obedient and it doesn't work out for those who are disobedient. 

For example:

-Daniel prayed even when it was forbidden and the Lord protected him in the Lion's den.
-Jonah ran away from the the Lord's assignment. That didn't work out for him- which he learned from the stomach of a whale. However, once he repented and was willing to be obedient, the Lord blessed him.
-The Israelites who were willing to look to the serpent were healed, those who were unwilling, died.
-Laman and Lemuel wouldn't be obedient to Nephi and Lehi's counsel and because of their disobedience, they were about to be swallowed up in the sea. Fortunately, they repented and the Lord spared them.
-The early saints headed west, as commanded, and they were finally able to live in peace without being persecuted.

I testify that when we are obedient, the Lord blesses us and things work together for our good.

--Jashley

Come

I had the privilege of attending a Youth Conference as an adult leader this last weekend. The theme of the conference was “Come Unto Christ,” which is the 2014 Youth theme. 

Our conference was held in Nauvoo, Illinois, the historic site of departure for the Mormon Pioneers. This group of people were facing intense persecution by those around them, and were eventually forced out in order to find religious freedom. Having grown up in Illinois, I’ve been to Nauvoo nearly every year that I can remember. I have found this “City of Beautiful” to be a place of solace, pondering, incredible personal growth, and deep admiration. The pioneers had such a desire to follow God that they, quite literally, “came” unto Christ. They left most of their belongings, their jobs, their friends and family, in order to find a place that they could worship their God in peace.

When I think of the phrase “come unto Christ,” I immediately picture the statue, the "Christus.” 

Christ is standing there with His arms wide open, beckoning us to Him. When I think of this statue and the Mormon pioneers, a lot of symbolism comes to my mind. When the pioneers of old were asked to leave their homes, they did so with a strong & unshakeable hope of something even better to come. They would endure hardships, disease, and even death in order to get to their sacred destination, but their hope and faith in Christ sustained them.

At times, when I am striving to “come unto Christ” and become more like Him, follow His commandments, and do what He would have me do, I too have many hardships–trials that seem unbearable at times. And yet, because of my Hope in my Savior, I continue to take the steps (tiny as they may be) towards Him.

As apart of the conference, we also had a theme song which we sang every day. It quickly became one of my all-time favorite songs. The following are lyrics that particularly touched me:

So let Him in, and He will take away your pain.

When you feel His love You'll never be the same.

Come unto Christ. Come unto Him,

And by His grace Be made holy again.

He's calling your name. He's waiting for you

With arms open wide. Come unto Christ.

{Link to the music video HERE.} 

I have felt of His love many times in my life. Even at times when I did not feel deserving of His love–or any love at all. But it was His healing, the healing of my soul, that gave me the strength to overcome. I recently heard that the prayer for strength is one that is always answered & I know this to be true.

He really can heal all wounds. He is calling your name, pleading for you. To come. Come unto Him. He knows that it is His rest we so desperately need, and so He is waiting for us­—to Come unto Him.

--Aubrey 

Choose to accept His healing grace

I was reading in Mark a few days ago and was reminded of the huge miracle in Mark 6:56, "And whithersoever [Christ] entered into villages, or cities, or country, they laid the sick in the streets, and besought him that they might touch if it were but the border of his garment; and as many as touched him were made whole." I realized that I'd never considered just how literal the comparison is between Jesus and the brass serpent that the children of Israel need only LOOK at to be healed. And I wondered, "How many people just didn't bother to touch Jesus? How many just didn't even try to bring their loved ones? How many were just as stubborn as the Israelites that perished, rather than lift the tent flap?" But then it struck me - how often do I deny the miracles Christ can work in my life? How many times a month/week/day do I think "I'll do this myself!" instead of saying that brief prayer to invite divine guidance and support? 

There are certainly days where I find I am just going through the motions of motherhood, and the day ended up feeling empty, so much went unaccomplished, and there was contention and selfishness in our home all day. I might as well have been lying sick in bed for all the good I did anyone. Why do I have to get through, and make my family suffer through, an entire day before realizing I could've said a prayer or two at several key points during the day, could've sung a hymn instead of what I said, or could've just thought "what would the Savior say to this child?" before confronting them? Why am I so slow to invite Him into my life when I KNOW it is the Savior's healing and empowering grace that makes all the difference on the days that go well? Am I any less stubborn than those who remained in their homes or tents?

The time to be happy is now

 My sister is serving a church mission in South Korea and sent this along (how's that for a citation?:D - I have no idea where she found it/heard it/etc). Short, but truly inspired!

The time to be happy is now.

The place to be happy is here.

The way to be happy is to make someone else happy,

And have a little heaven right here.

-Lisa

 

Complimentary Opposites

Last week I was visiting my family in Provo, and my lovely younger sister who lives there invited me to attend a meeting she was hosting in her home with the mayor and many of the women in her neighborhood.  The topic she wanted to address was the role of women in city politics.  I was curious to see how the meeting would unfold, because my sister is pretty into the feminist movement, and quite vocal in her opinions.  The meeting had originally come about because she had seen a photo on the mayor's blog of a large breakfast gathering where there were ONLY white males in attendance.  She had expressed concern via email to the mayor that women and minorities did not appear to be adequately represented in city councils and events.  I was pleasantly surprised at how delightful the meeting turned out.  There was a great turnout, the questions were well thought out, and there was a general feeling of goodwill and mutual respect, and a desire to bring about positive changes without being overbearing.  I came away from the meeting feeling inspired and empowered as a woman.

For the past several months, as women and their roles have become a more prominent topic in the media and within church circles, I have pondered a lot about what truly empowers a woman, and the benefit and gift her God-given role as a mother offers to humankind.  While volumes could be written on this topic, I would just like to share a few of my thoughts.

First, what empowers a woman?  I think the most important thing is to truly recognize, deep down, that we are daughters of God, who wants the same blessings and gifts for each of His children, regardless of gender.  He has endowed us as women with unique gifts and talents, which can either be stifled and pushed aside (which our society seems to be trying to do), or it can be rejoiced in and embraced.  I still remember from college something one of my religion professors said.  This particular professor was fluent in Hebrew and had advanced degrees in the subject.  He had also been to the Holy Land many times.  He pointed out that the word "helpmeet" in the Genesis account of the creation was "Ezar Kinegdo" in the original Hebrew.  (Isn't it weird that I remember that?!)  Its literal translation is "complimentary opposite."  I remember our professor explaining that roles of men and women were much like the wings of a plane--they are definitely NOT the same, but both are necessary for complete functionality. Complimentary opposites.

Secondly, what do our unique roles as women as mothers and nurturers have to offer?  I had an epiphany on this some time ago, which was very enlightening to me as a mother. Think for a moment of all the major ills in our society; crime, contention, bullying, obesity, addictions, premarital sex and the resulting consequences of abortion, or single (teenage) parents, etc.  If all women everywhere embraced their roles as mothers and nurturers, all these devastating ills would be almost completely eradicated!  Think of it!  If that is not true power, I don't know what is!  Let me expound.  If all kids were to come home from school to a home with an engaged mother present, down would go the premarital sex.  Down would go our abortions.  Down would go our single teenage parent statistics.  If mothers embraced their role in the home, and made nurturing their primary concern, down would go obesity and attendant illnesses as more healthy food choices were provided, rather then the fast food/convenience store fare that is causing so much disease in our society.  As women gave their best effort in their capacity as a mother, down would go the violence that is so prevalent, as there would be less unsupervised t.v. and violent video games viewed, and more engaging and creative alternatives offered.  You get the idea.  Can you see why there is such an effort put forth by the adversary to demean and devalue the roles of women?  Can you see why he entices people with the argument that women should be the same as men?  Because he knows the astounding power that women can have!

 I deeply hope all of us as women can find ways to be actively engaged in our communities, in our churches, in our societies, in politics, and other things where our powerful and God-given roles will be recognized and utilized to bring about some amazing changes in our world.  Let us show our daughters and sons role models of powerful, good women who rejoice in being women!  We don't have to be "equal" to men--equality is not the issue here.  Let us rejoice in being "complimentary opposites!"

-Anna

Tender Mercies

In April my visiting teaching companion made “Tender Mercy” journals for each of the women we visit, as well as one for me. On the inside cover was this thought:

“At times, it’s easy to hyper focus on our own faults. We forget that we are of such great value that our Savior, Jesus Christ, not only died for us, but he continues to show us his love through his tender mercies. Let us never forget to look for the tender mercies in our own lives. If we are aware, these small gifts continue to testify to our hearts of our Savior’s love.”

This sweet companion encouraged each of us to look for the small tender mercies each day and write them down. I’ve been thinking about this lesson since then, and although my journal is still empty, I had a very specific experience last week where I felt like Heavenly Father blessed me with multiple small tender mercies.

My husband has meetings before church so I am left to get myself and my 11 month old ready. This really should be a simple task, I do it every day, but every Sunday no matter how much I try to hurry I feel like I get further behind. I didn’t need to wash my hair that day and I only needed to touch up a few pieces so I really felt like that was the week I would be early. Instead of touching up the few pieces I attempted what I thought would be a quick, different hairstyle…It ended up taking way longer than I thought. When I was finished I still felt like it looked ridiculous but I couldn’t spend any more time on it. I quickly threw on a dress and looked in the mirror…it was one of those days where I felt like nothing looked right.   

After scrambling to get my daughter dressed and get the diaper bag packed, we were on the way. I live four miles from the church and although it isn’t a long distance there are 15 traffic lights (definitely WAY too many but I can’t control the traffic light placement) to go through to get to the church. I only had seven minutes before church started; I knew I wouldn’t make it anywhere close to the beginning. As I was driving I noticed all the lights ahead were green. I could see quite far down the road and all of them were green. I thought, “I’m not going to hit all the green lights, that just doesn’t happen on this road.” Sure enough, every light stayed green until I went through. I couldn’t believe it! I made it to church and made it in to sit by my husband before the opening song had finished.

I sat down and although I was happy to have made it in such a short amount of time I still feeling thrown together and annoyed because of why I was late, my hair and dress frustrations. I sat their concentrating on that for a minute when I heard a whisper behind telling me I looked really pretty. Believe me, I didn’t feel pretty. This was coming from my visiting teaching companion, the same girl who made the tender mercy journal. She had no way of knowing about my morning or how flustered and frumpy I was feeling. At that moment, all of me calmed. It was like a peace washed over me and I could then concentrate on the meeting. I was so grateful for her kind words and her willingness to share them. I wanted to thank her for them after sacrament meeting but when I turned back she was gone already. I learned later she had only come for the passing of the sacrament that day but she went home right after because she didn’t feel well.

Sunday morning, Heavenly Father blessed me with two very small but very precious tender mercies. He allowed me to make it through all the green lights and then he had one of his precious daughters there to lift my spirit at just the right moment. I didn’t know when this girl gave me the journal to write down my tender mercies she would be one to help grant me one of those sweet moment. That morning was one of those moments where I knew Heavenly Father cared about me and was watching out for me and He loved me. What a precious reminder that is. I know as we strive to reflect on our days and search for those little moments of recognizing His hand in our lives we will more fully learn of His love for us. 

-Mallory 

In the event when something sad, hopeful, and destructive slams into the same cursed holiday weekend over and over

I haven't had the easiest last four or five years of my life. Mind you it's been a blessed time overall and even happy many times, but I have had some serious trials jam packed in five years and most of it in the last two that have dealt with infertility and dreading Mother's Day more and more. But I hope you all had a better Mother's Day than me this year. Mother's Day for me is a cursed holiday, at least for the past five years. In fact, I haven't been to church on a Mother's Day Sunday in five years.

My husband and I next month will have been married for six years. I don't have a shadow of a doubt that I picked the right man to be with for all eternity. When I met him I didn't have the faintest clue how much he'd be my rock in life. He's been with me through depression, job loss, bankruptcy, and probably the most important, infertility.

The first two years of our marriage we lived like any poor starving student family complete with both of us working several jobs and me going to school full time. We were happy and even happier when we found out I was pregnant, but then shocked when we lost the baby five weeks in and less than a week before Mother's Day. The irony in that did kind of sting (little did I know that the next four would be worse). We were sad but we new we could try again. Three months later we were pregnant again and then disappointed. A year later, the same thing. 

At this point we were going through our other trials including business bankruptcy and then a year later personal bankruptcy, then losing our car, and losing several jobs all due to the bad economy; we also finally diagnosing my 12+ years of depression and got on meds, however, that was after the Second Annual Depressing Mother's Day Colossal Breakdown (didn't cry last year so I ended up crying this year, plus my depression was almost at its worst at this time). 

We then decided to start seeing reproductive specialists. After hundreds of expensive medical tests, surgeries, and discovering new medical problems related to infertility (that has lead me to go from only having to take allergy medicine all my life to taking practically every drug in a pharmacy every morning and evening) it was determined that we qualified for IVF. Oh, and somewhere in the middle of all this, Mother's Day came around again, and me being in annual mourning ended up in the Third Annual Depressing Mother's Day Colossal Breakdown when I found out three (maybe one more? Can't remember) of my sister in laws had all just had miscarriages within a month of Mother's Day. 

And so, couple thousand dollars in meds and procedures later we found out we were pregnant. We almost got through the first trimester before the baby died. Disappointed again we decided to try again a few months later. Which was- you guessed it- right before Mother's Day. And right before that day we got a call from the IVF lab that all our embryos had died. Cue the Fourth Annual Depressing Mother's Day Colossal Breakdown. Oh so very disappointed Alex and I decided to take a year off from anything fertility. 

I spent a year taking better care of myself, serving others, and getting back to my poor starving artist days. I made new friendships, and lost some friendships. And the unfortunate irony, it was my best friend who dumped me two days before Christmas. (Why oh why do I still celebrate holidays!?!?!) For the next three months I fell into the deepest depression I had ever experienced. My happy meds were upped and I started taking another type of medication. 

I have to admit if I could get away from all the medications that have accumulated exponentially in my life the last two years I would. If I could heal all my ailments with herbs and meditation I would. But I haven't quite figured out how to do that successfully, so for the time being my happy meds are my best friend. Since they've added the new medication my world has turned upside down. If I thought my depression was better with the one pill I was crazy! The new medication completely made it possible for me to be a better me. Even with that small speed bump around Christmas, I found myself happier and healthier in mind, body and soul. Which was good because in march I was headed into surgery to prep for possibly our last IVF cycle. Then at the end of April we started the cycle. 

One day before Mother's Day (should've really avoided doing anything this day. Maybe hide myself in a deep dark hole where I couldn't see or hear anything. Then maybe this Mother's Day wouldn't have been so bad.) we traveled to the IVF center more than two hours away from our house. Minutes before we were leaving I started hurting in the abdomen (I was hyper stimulating). Over the next two hours the pain got worse, by the time we got there I was desperate to be on pain meds and anesthesia. I went under for the egg retrieval and woke up still in a bit of pain. There had been thirteen eggs collected, which was the most we'd ever gotten. We were very excited at the larger chances and as we went home we couldn't wait to get that call the next day to see how many fertilized. 

And then came the curve ball.

My dad was kind enough to have driven us to the IVF center and back. When we got home I got comfortable on the couch very much drugged to relieve the hyper stimulation pain. At some point my father started bursting into tears and told us, for private reasons not of my father's fault, my mother had taken my two younger siblings and had left him. When I learned why I, was crushed. Our family dynamic was suddenly destroyed. 

I won't go into anymore detail since my family is still struggling with this trial through counseling and pray (it is getting better and everyone is healing) and deserve the privacy. 

But the horrible thing about this incident, excluding the obvious, was this was the first Mother's Day ever that I had not visited, seen or heard from my mother. It was probably the first that I had ever hated her so deeply, as well (I've forgiven her now). It was one thing to have my Mother's Days crushed on one end of motherhood year after year but to suddenly and gruesomely destroy the other end was too much. This last Mother's Day was supposed to be a much more hopeful one, a bit sad from the memories, but hopeful. Instead it was the Fifth Annual Depressing Mother's Day Colossal Breakdown.

So, what am I going to do in the future to avoid that event when something sad, hopeful, and destructive slams into that cursed holiday weekend?

 I'm going to Fiji!

---Gretchen

More Than Just the Winter Blues

{Warning: This is a very personal post! You may or may not agree or understand, but this has been a recent and personal journey of mine that I feel to share…}

This past winter was a very difficult one for me. I’ve struggled on many levels. For the first time in my adulthood, I felt consistently down. I didn’t feel like myself. I got moody, irritable, and critical at the snap of a finger (Usually my own finger being pointed at someone else .) At first I just thought I had the winter blues. But after a few months it still wasn’t going away. {And I actually learned when it was time to put myself to bed, because I had nothing nice to say!}     

One day as I was feeling really down and out of sorts, these feelings took a name! I realized I was experiencing depression. As I validated what I was experiencing and was honest with myself, I realized I really needed the Lord’s help. Such a simple concept really, but many times, the answer is simple. I knew I wasn’t going to wake up the next day, “all better.” I knew then that I was being given a personal trial that could allow me to become closer and more like my Savior if I so chose.

I also took a personal life evaluation and recognized several contributing factors to my feelings of stress, discouragement, and negativity. Some of these factors I could control, most of them I could not. But either way, I understood that it was essential that my spirit be nourished on a daily basis. I began to devote more time to uplifting reading whether in the scriptures, conference talks, or church books. I had a newfound craving for spiritual messages. I could feel the hunger in my spirit. My personal prayers also became more meaningful and specific. I acknowledged what I was feeling, but sincerely prayed for the strength and guidance to overcome these feelings. I also focused on what factors I could control and strived to become at peace with those I could not. As I fed my spirit and tried to replace negative feelings with positive ones, I slowly started to feel better. I say slowly, because I had to work very hard at my negative feelings and they still got the better of me on many occasions. But I also saw progress, which renewed my hope and my resolve to keep trying. 

I also found Pres. Uchtdorf’s talk entitled, “Grateful in Any Circumstances,” most encouraging. He explained that we do not have to be pleased with our circumstances, but we can choose to be grateful for and acknowledge the blessings we do have. President Uchtdorf also taught the higher law of gratitude which is to be a grateful person, not just grateful for certain things. I’m encouraged by his words and feel a sincere desire to embrace this for myself and strive to cultivate a disposition of gratitude. 

I don’t remember the exact day anymore, but I do remember recently waking up one day and feeling like this fog had been lifted off of me and I felt more like myself again. In the spirit of gratitude I said a prayer and thanked Heavenly Father for this blessing. Although I still had a long way to go, I also knew that my prayers were heard and were answered.

My heart goes out to any and everyone who has experienced depression or may be going through it themselves. This is a very personal emotion because everyone experiences it differently and on different levels, but there are shared feelings. I’ve only shared from my own experiences. But I do know that we are loved eternally by our Heavenly Father. I know that our struggles are known and understood by our Savior, Jesus Christ.

I am truly grateful and humbled by His infinite atonement that extends us the grace and mercy we need to not only be cleansed but also healed. Although I would not choose to feel depressed, I am grateful for the deeper understanding I have gained because of this trial. I move forward striving to feel His love more abundantly, being more mindful and grateful for His bounteous blessings, and daily exercising the power of our Savior’s infinite atonement.

---Dalynne

Revelation

I taught a lesson recently in church about revelation. I have been pondering this topic for quite a while. Elder Bednar gave a talk about the different ways revelation can come if you have the Gift of the Holy Ghost. He mentioned some being: visions, dreams, visits from heavenly messengers, and inspiration. He then went on to say how many accounts in the scriptures are of visions, dreams, and heavenly messengers, and said that those do happen. However, they are more of the exception than the rule. He explained that the Lord teaches us line upon line.

Nephi did not know how he would obtain the plates from Laban. He had to try three times, with the first two being failures. The third time, he proceeded all on faith, and it was revealed to him how to obtain them when he stumbled across passed out Laban. How many times in our lives do we get frustrated because we are symbolically on our way back to Jerusalem and the Lord has not revealed to us what we should do? We have to have faith and proceed, doing the best we know how, until the path becomes clear. I dont think Nephi would have handled it very well if he knew from the beginning he would have to kill Laban to save the sacred text.

When I think back on the times I know i have had revelation, the revelation has come after my faith has been tested and before things fall apart. It comes at the perfect time for everything to fall into place and work out for my good.

I believe if we pray for inspiration and opportunities to practice communicating with the Spirit, those opportunities will be granted to us if we watch for them. Our loving Heavenly Father wants to communicate with us, and the more opportunities we allow ourselves to hear those promptings, the more familiar we will become with them. President Monson is a wonderful example of listening to the Spirit and has told many stories of times that he has acted on a prompting and has been so glad he did. May we all strive to have more faith in the Lord's timing and create more opportunities to feel the promptings of the Spirit.

-Jashley

An Experiment with Granola

Today I made some granola. I have made this recipe before, and loved it. It’s a
chocolate granola, so that will tell you right there just how delicious it is.
I had a hankering for this granola, and thought I probably had all of the ingredients.

After digging through my loose recipes in the cupboard, I finally found it and started compiling ingredients.

I realized I didn’t have the right kind of nuts that it called for. So I decided to use sliced almonds and walnuts instead of smoked almonds. I think that the last time I made this recipe, I used pecans…

Though the recipe didn’t call for it, I added some coconut, because I had it on hand and I LOVE coconut in granola.

I also decided to add some craisins. Chocolate and craisins would taste great together, right?

And a little extra honey wouldn’t do any harm, either.

After mixing all of the ingredients, I realized that I had followed only about half of the recipe. It had turned into a Carson Creation, with only the basics from the actual recipe. And you know, the last time I made granola I made it a little different from the recipe, as well. But not the same as today.

And I do this a lot in cooking. Do you? Decide to add a little here, or substitute
something else there? (Substituting has become huge in my house, because I almost always am missing one specific ingredient on the list. Lack of planning? Or intuitive replacement?!)

This made me think about life. There are so many ways to get to a great outcome. And each person can add their own flair of creativity to their recipe of life. Some people use walnuts instead almonds, because it’s what they have. And you know what—they taste great!

And sometimes, it doesn’t matter how amazing the ingredients sound that go together in one recipe, or how often you’ve made the recipe before—it might not
turn out. Even though the chocolate called for in this granola sounds amazing, I put a little too much in, and lost a lot of the taste of the other ingredients to chocolate. Also, I have made granola many times before—but today, I burned it.

    You can do so many little things to a recipe to make it better, but you can also do so many little things to a recipe to ruin it!

Fortunately, adding the craisins and some fresh (uncooked) coconut to my granola evened out the burned and over-chocolaty taste. And now the bit of burned is How about that? My mistake created an interesting flavor. Different, and not what I was expecting, but still delicious. Although I did learn that using foil instead of actually adding a kind of smoky taste that I really like. parchment paper will make it cook faster—and burn faster, too. 

And of course, I can always start over from scratch. There is always the option to try again.

If I make a mistake (I mean other than in cooking), I can fix it with a little help from the Lord. He can help me find a way to make it better, and even help me appreciate what my mistakes have added to my character. I have learned that with every mistake I repent of, I gain compassion and understanding. He can even help me have the courage to completely throw out a bad habit and start afresh. 

And you know, it might be a good idea to share what I have learned while making mistakes and asking the Lord to help me fix them. I may be able to help someone else feel less alone, or avoid the same mistake altogether.

Do you ever read reviews for recipes when you are getting them online? After many trials and errors, I realized that was a good idea. To get hints about what will help or hinder the recipe from those who have already made the recipe. If I add what I learned about using foil vs. parchment and adding too much chocolate, someone else might avoid a burned and over-chocolaty batch of granola.

It takes courage to try the same recipe again after learning from yours and others’ mistakes. But that is what creates perfect recipes, and really good cooks.

So here is my advice (at least, for chocolate granola :D )

 

The Carson Version of Chocolate Granola

½ cup (or a little more) of almonds, walnuts, or pecans (or a mixture)
½ cup shredded coconut (I like the sweetened kind in the baking isle)
2.5 Tbsp honey
2 Tbsp vegetable oil
½ cup semi sweet chocolate chips 

½ cup craisins or dried cherries
 

Preheat oven to 350. Line baking sheet with parchment paper (don’t use foil—trust me). Put oats, nuts, and coconut on baking sheet and toss.
Mix the oil and honey together, then drizzle over ingredients on baking sheet, and toss to combine. Bake in oven for 16-20 minutes until brown, tossing occasionally. When done, put hot granola in a bowl and add the chocolate chips. Don’t do more than ½ cup, or it will be too chocolaty (unless you added a significant amount of the other ingredients over what the recipe calls for)! You want to do it while it’s hot—the melting chocolate creates clusters of granola. Add the craisins and mix all together. Store in airtight container. Tastes really good on vanilla ice cream :D

So, how are you going to tweak this recipe?

-Carson